Marrying a Subic Barbecue Girl

A wonderful story of someone who met his wife in Subic, reposted from the Harry the Horse site:

Hello Mr. Harry the Horse, Thought i would write this as it may be of interest to some and informative to others. This is aimed at those who may be thinking about going to the Philippines to find a “Wife”……Some food for thought.  I’m a full blooded American ( white guy..but that’s immaterial..) ..I went into the navy when i was 17 (3 days after i turned 17 ) years old and served from 1960 to 1964…6 days less than four years. Spent most all that time out in the Pacific aboard 3 ships and 18 months (june 1961 to december 1962 ) stationed at Cubi Point Navel Air Station. While there i met and married my wife (she being a Filipina )…..I was 18 years old and she was 19 years old. We have been married ( 50 years ) and had 3 children and have two grand-daughters.  For some of the old timers who were there back in those days they will recall when going out the main gate at subic bay one would cross the bridge over (sorry….Shit river.. thats what everyone called it ) and on into town.  As you got to the end of the bridge there was a big open area and a bunch of little shacks where the “Barbecue Girls” sold their hot dogs, pork on a stick, popcorn, and even beer to the guys working their way back to base before the midnight curfew. This is where i met my wife as she had her own little barbeque stand where she and two sisters and a friend or two sold their goods.  Most all these girls knew each other….And i can tell you that most of them met and married American service men and are scattered all around the USA……..My wife had stayed in contact with a lot of them from that time period and it is amazzzzing to me how many of these girls ended up here in the USA ( a lot of them have passed away).  The big majority of these girls were virgins, not prostitutes. This may bring back a few memories for some of the older guys who spent some time in the city of Olongapo back in the good old days…….. Now for those who may wish to find themselves a “Filipina ” wife, something for you to think about but first I wish to state a couple of facts pertaining to “ME”……(1) I do like filipino people in general and was always treated very well by them. (2) I like the Philippines very much, but it is sad to me to see how dirty this country is and how people just throw garbage and litter every where (sorry but it’s true )…(3) But this is the “big one”..The best thing i ever did in my life was when i Married this lovely young lady as she has taken very good care of me over these 50 plus years and to this day even though she is now 70 years old she is still a very good looking women and still “Turns me on”……I have been a lucky guy.. Now guys…..as we all know, times have changed in this world and in the Philippines.  In those days when i was there the average filipino knew very little about the good old USA and what they did seem to know was what they had seen in the movies.  Yes,  even then as some do now, thought all Americans where rich and that money just grew on trees and all you had to do was pick it off and if you were really rich you didn’t even bother to do that, you hired someone to pick it for you (LOL ).   We now live in a whole new world and it is full of scams and gold diggers..”Beware”…LOL For those of you who live in a dream world and not reality. i can point out a few things for you to think about and some of them you can chisel down in stone….. You can take the girl out of the Philippines….but you will never take the Philippines out of the girl…..(nothing wrong with that i guess…just the way it is.)  Next is food and what they like to eat..Now if you happen to like their style food and a lot of people do that’s great.  My kids like a lot of it and myself very little of it…and some of it i wouldn’t touch with a stick………We have always had two types of food in our house….Her type of food and my kind of food…( and she is a very good cook and baker ) but there are times when the smell of what she cooks that her and her friends like to eat is almost too much for me to handle. ( i can tell you right now guys you will most likely never change this so just figure on dealing with it.) The next thing is language (did i spell that right…damm i wish i could spell ) Their number one language is and always will be “Tagalog” and English will be the number two…..There are very few exceptions to this and i know a hell of a lot of filipinas here in the USA…They can spend hours talking tagalog to a friend and what they can talk about for hours is beyond me.  Most of it revolves around their family and friends in the Philippines…They can never seem to get away from this..I don’t speak the language…i know a lot of phrases…hundreds of words but just can’t put them together to really talk to any one.  I can after all these years listen and in general get the drift of what the conversation is about (get used to this as it is just the way its going to be ) Now the “BIG ONE”…..”Philippine Family Members “……………I could write a book on this subject. There is no easy answer to this and it has most likely caused more problems among those married to a filipina than anything else. In their eyes the family in the Philippines is “NUMBER ONE”…….Got that “NUMBER ONE”……….And let me tell you these familys in the Philippines can fill a small “PHONE BOOK” with all the shirt tail members…They are raised from birth that it is their responsibility to help take care of the family in the Philippines (yes, to some degree we all feel this way that we would all like to help our family no mater where they are to a point) Now what is hard to deal with is the filipino’s seem to think their needs are far more important than your own may be and that you are obligated in some way to take care of their’s first.??? If you help one member in some way….now they all line up and say well you helped so and so …why can’t you help me….(here again they know we all have that money tree in our back yard and we just need to pick some and send it to them ).  One thing that has always amazzzzed me is ( i have had help from a few of my family back in the past and i can tell you i have never forgot it and will at times remind them of this fact and how it was appreciated ) but i must say i have never seen this from any of the members of my wife’s family…and she has helped a good number of them at times (and still does today as i write this) It was always a battle to get my wife to understand that our family (meaning her and I and our children is “NUMBER ONE” ) not the family in the P.I. or even my family here in the states. Well this is long enough and will give maybe some a general idea about getting a wife from a foreign country and in turn taking her to a foreign country to live. There are simple things that we here in a more modern world take for granted every day that is not even in the realm of their world which they grew up in and it will at times dazzel you…..?  So give it some careful thought guys and you better be ready to be able to give and take if you expect things to work out as you will both have a lot to learn…. For what it’s worth and good luck to all. Harry to keep me out of the dog house for who knows how long….Mabe you will leave my name off my post or just use my first name….LOL Good job with your website as i read it all the time and always wait for your next addition. (sorry again about my spelling), Larry.

Response from Harry: (Larry, man that was a bit long and yes, your spelling was terrible.  I did correct many of the spelling and grammar errors but left some in.  Do me a favor, remember that “always” has one L, not two.  But, taking that aside, all that you wrote is true and that river is still called “shit river” and probably some of the shit you saw many years ago is still there.  I am glad to hear that after 50 years of marriage your wife still turns you on and it appears you have a very happy life.  But, I kind of sense that in those 50 years you have failed to convince your wife that you are number one and her family in the Philippines is definitely number two.  The fact that you remain married for so long is testament to your patience, love and ability to compromise when necessary.  All in all, not a bad life.  You were lucky, you got yourself a good Filipina wife, many coming here do not.  I hope both of you enjoy another 50 years of being “turned on” with each other)